1.2The blank space of rice
English College 2011Level Qu Zehua
It’s been a long time since I listened to a new song, it’s been a long time since I’ve watched a movie, it’s been a long time since I attended a dinner party, and it’s been a long time since I had a serious chat with my good friends.
I like to watch movies like this. There are no exaggerated acting skills, no vulgar jokes, no vulgar romance, and no storyline where you can see the ending from the beginning. Like movies that leave room for the audience's imagination. Even if the character's personality is a fixed value, at least the follow-up of the story can be wild and imaginative, allowing the story to develop according to their own preferences.
The same is true in life, and even more so in friendship.
Duncan, a master of psychology in the United States, once said that the safe distance between people is1.2M. Unless it is someone you particularly trust or know well, anyone who goes beyond such a distance will make you feel defensive and insecure.
I don’t know what it is like for other people. As far as I am concerned, I always feel restless when I am in close contact with someone I am not particularly familiar with, and I want to escape. But when it comes to dealing with emotions, it seems that a safe distance applies to everyone, including the people closest to me.
I often chat with friends after dinner, gossiping, or sharing the TV series I watched recently. I always feel that the time we spend together is very short, but we are also very happy. It seems that we can share all the happy things together, even if the wind blows and the rain blows, it will not affect it at all;
I will be happy to get together with everyone at the class reunion and talk about my recent life, who has changed my boyfriend again, who has gone abroad again. That kind of time is really precious. A group of unscrupulous children gather together, chattering and scrambling to report their latest developments. It doesn't matter if it's dark, it doesn't matter if we're drunk, as long as we care about each other, it doesn't matter where we are?
Nowadays, interpersonal relationships seem to be getting more and more complicated. We know more and more people, but have fewer and fewer close friends; more and more people are willing to enjoy the joy of success with you, but fewer and fewer people are willing to share the pain and frustration with you without regrets; more and more people are willing to chat with you in their free time, and fewer and fewer people are willing to talk to you late at night to talk about their worries. Gradually, a wall built up in my heart, and I was only willing to open a window to interact with each other.
Perhaps in this context, leaving blank space is a good choice.
Leave a little space for others and yourself. Don't try to read other people's minds if you are not allowed.
Everyone has their own little secrets that they only want to tell themselves; everyone has things hidden in their hearts that they don’t want others to discover.
Everyone has a past, which only belongs to them during that time. The weather at that time may be sunny or cloudy, they may cry or laugh at that time, the days at that time may be dull but reveal a little happiness, or they may be boring but unforgettable.
In short, a corner of your heart will be locked by yourself, and the key will only be held tightly in your own hand. When needed, he would open the door and hide silently in a corner, recalling the past, thinking about the present, or worrying about the unknown future.
However, Jue does not allow others to peek.
You must have had such an experience. If you like a new toy you will try your best to prevent other children from getting their hands on it, and you will cherish your new clothes for fear of getting a trace of dust. Likewise, there are some things that you just want to know and reflect on now or someday in the future.
White space should be a valuable asset in interpersonal communication.
When you gain a friendship, if you cherish and value the other person enough, you will unconsciously want to share everything in his life, whether it is happiness or sadness, you want to share it together. But you need to understand that your friends also need their own independent space. It's normal to want to keep some things as a secret in your heart and not want to share them with you. Don't give up on a relationship easily just because of this.
There is a need for blank space everywhere in life, especially in friendship.
But you must firmly believe that leaving blank space does not exclude you. Moderate white space is to give each other enough space to breathe freely, and to give each other a better platform to enhance friendship.
