Some thoughts on “listening” at counselor’s work
Lu Ping
As time passes by my fingertips, I have officially been working as a counselor for nearly two years. I still remember clearly that I had just signed a contract and it was clear that I would work as a counselor. When I was thinking about how I should do a good job as a counselor, my mentor once gave me a piece of advice: start with the word "listen" and think more. Now that I am thinking more about it, I am more aware of the knowledge of the word "listening" and deeply feel the importance of "listening".
An American female writer once said that the highest state of communication is to listen quietly. According to Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs", when people meet their basic physiological needs and safety needs, everyone desires to be accepted, understood, and respected by others. People have the same mind and the same principle. Listening shows a kind of tolerant and humble personality, which fully demonstrates respect for others. In this way, by listening, we can gain more friends. At the same time, everyone’s cognition is limited. By listening, we can learn the strengths of others, share their wisdom, and enrich our own knowledge. When we learn to listen, we have the third eye to understand ourselves and the world. By learning to listen, we can improve our personality by looking at ourselves through the eyes of others. When you learn to listen, you learn to live with a wise attitude. At work and in life, we all need to listen.
As a counselor, the main target of your work is students. Our educational goal is to cultivate people. Whether a full-time counselor can truly enter the inner world of students and listen carefully to students' voices can be said to be the key to the success of education. Kaifu Lee wrote in a letter to Chinese students that today's Chinese youth are "very good, but very confused; very smart, but not confident enough." They are "lucky to be born in an era of choice, but the era has not taught them the wisdom of choice." Therefore, they are full of contradictions and confusion, and it is difficult to integrate knowledge and action. As counselors, we have the responsibility to understand them, understand them, and guide them. Listening is undoubtedly an effective way to understand and understand contemporary college students. A senior counselor once compared the moral education work of counselors to“Soup and salt” is like eating. Salt cannot be taken in directly. It must be done in a gentle way by drinking soup. As counselors, we listen and communicate attentively, which is like making a bowl of hot soup for students, and they are at ease in influencing them. In fact, from this perspective, the counselor's job is to cook a bowl of nutritious "hot soup for the soul" for students. In order to make this bowl of "soup" well, as a counselor, learning to listen to students is the first thing you need to do.
There is a prerequisite for listening to students - equality. As counselors, we first establish the belief that counselors and students are equal, and every student has the need to be respected and trusted. We should strive to create a free and relaxed democratic atmosphere for students so that they can speak freely in front of us. Then, listen quietly, considerately, and actively, listen to what they say, listen to their problems and troubles, listen to their opinions and opinions, think along with the students' language, understand what they say, be empathetic, and look at the problem from their perspective, so as to give sincere understanding and correct guidance, and help them analyze and judge.
While listening, I found that the effectiveness of my communication with students was very different under different circumstances and conditions; and sometimes I deeply felt that my knowledge, comprehensive ability, and experience were beyond my means, and I still urgently need to continue learning, accumulating, and improving. Indeed, to do a good job as a counselor, you really need to start with the word "listening" and think more about it. There is still much to learn.
I have been working as a counselor for two years. Sometimes I also think, if I were a student, what kind of counselor would I want? Sometimes I reflect on myself, can I listen to students' conversations like a mirror? Whether I have made a subjective "automatic reaction" judgment before fully accepting the information. I often feel ashamed. But I firmly believe in one thing: while listening, the students' and my thoughts are constantly colliding, and we are learning and growing together. Although I cannot achieve my ideal goal of doing a good job as a counselor, I long for it.
Listening carefully, Tell me, you must work hard to become an encouraging, optimistic, humorous, sincere, empathetic, helpful, and willing to listen to others. Such people are truly popular with everyone. Such counselors are the ideal counselors in the minds of students.
I like Meijing’s "The Sunshine Is Always After the Storm". I listen to it often and draw strength from it. I would like to share this word with everyone. "I am willing to share all the sweetness, bitterness, joys and sorrows on the road of life with you. It is inevitable that you will fall and wait, but you must be brave enough to raise your head; who would rather hide in a sheltered port; would rather have the freedom of rough waves. May I be the watchman of the lighthouse in your heart, in the mist Let you see through. The sun is always behind the storm, and there is a clear sky above the dark clouds. Cherish all the touches. Every hope is in your hands. Please believe that there is a rainbow, and I will always be by your side."
