Confused road, lost dream
Beyond the Cloud
Some people say that God is fair. He gives everyone the same things, and the most precious thing is time. From birth, everyone goes through the same life365Heaven, through every unique spring, autumn and winterXia. Perhaps looking back at the past, it is more about the misfortunes and bumpy roads; perhaps looking back, you can still feel the laughter, curses, and tears in the early years. But whether it is muddy, bright, rugged or flat, the road we came from has already been engraved there, leaving indelible and clear footprints. Just like the old saying,The past goes with the wind, and the tea is cool when people leave.The indifferent time leaves behind pieces of bubbles in vain, which cannot be captured or kept privately.
A certain philosopher once said that the journey of life is long, endless and painful, but what is really important is only a few steps, and you can walk through it safely with a little patience. I very much agree with this sentence. Time flies by like a meteor, and what is really left is just a little bit of hard-to-find brilliance, a brilliance that disappears in a flash. Just like us, perhaps the only thing worth recording is that moment that cannot be let go.
The memory of my childhood is no longer very clear. The childish pride and simple rebellion at that time are now blurred in the memory, but some things still flicker, like a lighthouse shining softly in the gray fog.
I don’t know what other people’s ideals were when they were young. the scientist? thinker? Even the president? No matter what it is, greatness is already written in the young mind. To be precise, I have no ideals. It’s not that I don’t want to establish, but the world is too big, and a drop in the ocean really doesn’t know what to do. So I have been working hard and walking without any ideas, just to find a goal that can impress me.
Until I was twelve years old, I finally had a humble ideal, or a yearning. This yearning is not attributed to scientists, thinkers, or presidents, but it quietly sprouted when I faced the computer screen and encountered something called a "game", which made me want to play something famous.
I remember that was the first professional game I watched in my third year of contacting StarCraft. Perhaps many people don’t understand why these so-called unprofessional games still hold competitions and harm young people. But I understand, and those who fight for him understand. Every game has a soul, and like anything noble, it has a mind and it can teach us a lot. You never know why the players on the field are still struggling despite knowing they are at a disadvantage; you also never know how hot the blood is in the hearts of those who really understand them when the players are fighting to the death, and how loud the cry hidden in their chests is.This is the gaming spirit hidden in the hearts of countless people who are on the road to e-sports; this is also the spiritual support of too many bad boys who are not understood, and it is all their faith to persist.
But in a context like China, heretics rarely have a way out. Virtuality is the opposite of reality and the most direct heresy in China: under heavy pressure, how many e-sports enthusiasts are exhausted and have to end their dreams, leaving only an old mouse in their hands and the calluses left by training on their hands. Maybe it’s the cruelty of reality, but more like silly moths, we eventually die under the flames in our hearts.
I have really struggled for such a dream, squandering premature rebellion and spending my still immature youth. I didn't dare to mention what I was thinking to my family, so I just trained secretly and persisted alone. But every time I was discovered, I would be scolded by my mother. In her eyes, I was a waste of time and had no future. She also considered my faith to be a naive fantasy. Any dream deserves respect, but I didn’t get that respect. I have also achieved proud results, myIDOnce inGI shined in the league, I also reached the Beijing DivisionWCGThe quarterfinals. For me, who was still underage at that time, these achievements were all my glory. However, after receiving these honors, I can only sit alone in front of the computer and watch silently, sharing my happiness with myself. I know that the hard work is my own, but the happiness cannot be shared with others either. Maybe this is another kind of pain.
Later, his academic performance declined seriously, and he finally had a fierce conflict with his parents. I have run away from home and struggled, but time is like water and the trajectory of my life has not changed because of my futile efforts. I am still in w88 casino and still busy working for my future. Maybe I'm not decisive enough, or I'm too cowardly. In short, I can't put my dream on the bright side, and can only enjoy the happiness of loneliness in the dark. I just experienced it quietly by myself.
The turning point of life occurred a few years ago when StarCraft was releasedWCGWhen deleted. At that time, I felt that the whole world that supported me collapsed. This ancient game has gone through its glory, and this result is inevitable, but I really can't accept it. For Blizzard Entertainment, this move is just an inadvertent decision; for me, it is a complete deletion and loss. RememberWCGThe final game of StarCraft, remember to be a playerYellowvs.Flash, but forgot the result of the game. I just remember that I cried that day, howling like a child who couldn't find a home. Yes, my heart is lost. I have no more dreams. My dreams finally left me. I was like abandoned trash, hiding in a dark corner and crying alone, with no one paying attention.
Perhaps this is the cruelty of life. It’s not that you gave up your dream first, but that your dream gave up on you first. In this way, my dream died prematurely, before I even confessed it to my family, before I won the recognition of others, and before I had time to show off to my classmates! All that is left is an unbearable past, a black memory that I don’t want to mention again.
Life continues, it will not stop and wait for you to think clearly, nor will it wait for you to look back and analyze the situation. Life is neither fast nor slow, but it keeps moving. It was in this cruelty that I became an adult with a dead dream. I don’t know what I can show off in these years, maybe it’s two unforgettable relationships, or something else, but it will never be the glory that I was recognized for. I never care about what I don’t want to fight for, and maybe that’s my sadness.
But time is still passing, second after second. Reality directly pulled me into college, but I had lost my dream and still didn’t know what to do and which direction to work towards. Confusion may be part of youth. I will not truly grow up until I finish chewing and tasting these bitter fruits.
I look forward to my transformation.
